How to Get the Most Out of the Time You Spend Dating
Because honestly… dating is a lot of effort and your time and energy are way too valuable to waste.
Let’s be real, between the apps, the small talk, the “what are we?” convos, and the mental gymnastics of decoding mixed signals, dating can feel like its own side hustle. And if you’re dating because you actually want something real, it makes sense to ask yourself: “Am I dating in a way that gets me closer to what I want?”
If you’ve ever wondered how to date more intentionally or how to stop wasting your time on situationships that go nowhere—keep reading. This one’s for you.
Get Clear on What You Need
Before we even talk about what you want in a partner, it’s time to zoom in on what you need to feel safe, loved, and supported in a relationship. Is it emotional availability? Consistency? Humor? Deep convos? Space to be yourself? The clearer you are on your needs, the easier it gets to spot when someone actually has the capacity to meet them… and when you’re just trying to force it because the chemistry’s good.
Be Intentional, Not Just Hopeful
It’s easy to get caught up in vibes or potential. But if you’re serious about building something meaningful, that first-date banter only gets you so far.
Ask yourself:
Do they show up consistently?
Are their values aligned with mine?
Can I be myself around them?
This isn’t about being picky, it’s about protecting your peace. When you know what matters, it’s easier to walk away from what doesn’t.
Save Your Energy for People Who Match It
A dating tip that changed my life: if someone can’t meet your needs or isn’t ready for the kind of relationship you want, it’s okay to peacefully opt out. You don’t owe anyone your time just because they’re “nice” or interested. Instead, use that time and energy to pour back into yourself. The more you meet your own needs, the less tempting it is to chase love in places it was never going to grow.
Look for Shared Values, Not Just Shared Playlists
Yes, it’s cute when you both love the same music or watch the same shows. But if you're looking for something long-term, shared values are where it's at. Think: how they handle conflict, what they want out of life, how they treat others, their views on commitment, communication, growth. Values is what lasts, even when the butterflies fade.
And Remember: One Person Can’t Be Your Everything
A healthy relationship isn’t supposed to complete you—it’s supposed to support you. Your partner can’t be your therapist, best friend, and entire emotional support system all rolled into one. That’s why it’s so important to stay connected to your own life. Have a few solid girlfriends you can lean on. Keep doing things that make you feel full and grounded outside the relationship.The best kind of love happens when you don’t lose yourself in the process.
Dating doesn’t have to drain you. When you show up with intention, clarity, and a solid sense of what you actually need, everything changes. You’ll stop wasting energy on the wrong people—and start making space for the right one. And even more importantly? You’ll be showing up for yourself in the process.
Need a little extra help clarifying your values and knowing how to notice them while dating?
Book a free call and let’s chat!